Times Like These...

As I sit in the hospital waiting for my father to come out of surgery, I have nothing to do but pray and reflect on these past few months, weeks, days...

My universe has really been testing me this year. I thought I was finally in a place where I had learned how to forgive and move forward. I was happy and positive and looking forward to every day, in spite of certain things that were swirling around like vultures, waiting for me to give up and break down.

Then, bad news. Two days later, more bad news. And certain happenings reminded me of two things:

1. The person/people you THINK you want/need to comfort you during these times; the one(s) who said they would be there, have your back no matter what, stay away - far, far away.
2. The person/people you take for granted are there, every minute, every day, in contact, praying, hoping, comforting, providing shoulders for you to cry on, making sure you eat, making sure you are comfortable, making you laugh...

It's times like these when the universe is showing you that the RIGHT people are in your life and the WRONG people aren't worthy of your love, your attention, your thoughts. They stay away for a reason -- because they don't deserve you.

To all the RIGHT people in mine and my family's life -- we love you so much and are so thankful for your support and comfort during these difficult times.

"Eff" Parkinson's

I’m ashamed.

It all began with me feeling sorry for myself. I was consumed with myself and the loss of someone I had believed and hoped was “for real;” someone who would be in my life forever. Then, I started thinking of all the ways in which I had not been a great friend to the wonderful people who stick with me no matter what. I started thinking of how I could’ve been a better wife . . . a better girlfriend . . .  And then I started thinking about how I could’ve been a better daughter, sister, niece, cousin to my family. It was all about ME. Poor, poor JillyG.

A few weeks ago, life slapped me hard – very hard.  But it didn’t just slap me.  It slapped the people who in no way, shape, or form deserve to be slapped . . . my parents.

I am extremely, extremely fortunate to have grown up in a happy, well-adjusted, harmonious family. Sure, my early years were tumultuous, due to abandonment, selfishness, and lies on the part of one individual. Then, the universe decided to bless me, my mom, and my younger sister with a savior – my dad.

My dad – oh, I can’t do him justice with my blogger words, but I can say that he is one of the most selfless, caring, loving, inspiring, motivating, smart, funny, amazing individual to ever grace this earth. His love for my mom transferred to her two toddler girls and so began our family (and eventually a later addition, my brother). My dad gave me a life that every girl dreams of. He and my mom never fought (well, at least not in front of us kids). I experienced true love, respect, and tolerance through my parents. We laughed so, so much. We sang. We camped. We spent much time in Hersey, PA. We learned about values and responsibility. We learned that disappointing our parents was much worse than being grounded or slapped. We were held accountable for our actions. We lived. We loved.

Then, Parkinson’s happened. Fuck Parkinson’s. It happened to the one person who LEAST deserves it – my dad. He lived with it fine for a long time. We even joked about it. Then….more abandonment. More lies. More disappointment. And, the disease accelerated. And we were not; are not prepared.

I looked at my dad a few weeks ago, and while I noticed a bit of a weight gain (especially when pushing him in his chair), he seemed to be enjoying himself and my lousy singing during a night out of karaoke. Then, the next day, everything changed. I looked at my dad and . . . Fuck Parkinson’s.

My dad is still my dad, but he is not – if that makes sense. I know he loves me. I know he loves my mom. And I know my mom loves him. But, but – my heart is breaking. His quality of life has diminished greatly. For someone who has lived his life with so much love and laughter, I am so, so, so angry that this is how it is going to end. HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS, AND NEITHER DOES MY MOTHER! Fuck Parkinson’s!

I am dedicating the rest of my life to helping in any way that I can to find and fund a cure for this disease .  . .  to help not only the victims, but also their caregivers  . . . beginning with a 5K charity run on August 25^th in Southern California. More information will be available soon, and it would be awesome if you want to help in any way.

I was ashamed. Now, thanks (again) to my amazing parents, I have motivation and encouragement to stop feeling sorry for myself and to make a difference – something they have always and will always remind me to do. FUCK PARKINSON’S!!!

Old Friends, Hump Day and Love Rolls*

Facebook -- what is it good for?

Well, for one, I have been reconnected with old friends from high school, and I swear it is like we are back in high school again.  Funny how some things never change.

I'm also happy to be part of a group that is experimenting with using Facebook as a learning experiment.  As a member of the training industry, I feel that it is imperative that we look at social learning as a huge opportunity and quickly accept it and find ways to leverage it.  But I digress...

Facebook is fun and a great escape from the challenges that we are facing in today's economy.  I enjoy reading what my friends are up to.  And, since I am horrible at keeping in touch via snail mail, phone and email, Facebook provides me with the opportunity to let my loved ones know that I am thinking about them with comments, pokes and status updates. 

*Thanks to Rich S. for the blog title -- which came from Facebook comments and status updates!

Weight for It

I've never liked lifting weights. My ex-bodybuilder, ex-husband tried to get me lifting regularly - didn't stick. My sister, when she was an exercise instructor, tried to get me lifting regularly - didn't stick. The last ex used to tell me that I needed to lift regularly to tone up what running couldn't (TB!) - of course, that didn't stick either. Whenever I'm at the gym, I look at the weights and then I look at the treadmill.  Guess where I wind up 100% of the time?  No matter how much I try, I just can't seem to stick to a lifting routine without giving up after a couple of weeks.

So I am amused by what my coach refers to as Anatomical Adaptation (AA) workouts.  It's just a fancy term for lifting weights!  Somehow Coach thinks that he will succeed where others have failed -- those damn AA workouts are on my training plan a minimum of twice a week.  I did my first of these today, after my run -- of course, I did not like it.  But, I am determined to follow through since there's an Ironman at stake.

I guess only time will tell if this time it will stick.

Ford Ironman Arizona Full to General Entry

November 25, 2008
Tempe, AZ - The 2009 edition of Ford Ironman Arizona to be held on Sunday, November 22, 2009 is full to general entry. Information regarding Community Fund spots will be made available in the near future, please check back at the www.ironmanarizona.com for further details.

That message greeted me this morning when I went to check on my registration status. Yes, I AM IN! For proof, see image below.

I've been told that registering for a slot is harder than the actual event. Not sure how true that is, but registration really had me freaking out. It took almost an hour. Every time I got to the actual registration page on Active, it would time out and tell me the "server is busy" -- believe me, I was ready to cry. Then, I finally got to the page where I needed to input my credit card number and it kept denying it! I put my debit card number in and that, too, was denied! Thankfully, my savior, Julie was on her computer at the same time and knew how crazy I was getting -- she registered me with her credit card and I was in! Later, I went to my bank where they informed me that there was nothing wrong with my cards and they couldn't understand why they didn't go through. I guess it must've been the busy servers.

Anyway, keep reading -- for the next year, not only will I continue with my running and biking, but I will also be getting over my body image so that I can learn to swim!

Macca Mania

Last Friday, our tri team had its annual carb-loading dinner in preparation for the Nautica Malibu Triathlon. This event also serves as a rally for the team and we typically have guest speakers, awards, and recognition.

This year we were lucky to have Chris "Macca" McCormack, the 2007 Ironman World Champion, as our speaker. Not only is he inspirational and fit, he is HOT (and very married - sigh).  After talking to us about his journey to Ironman success and answering questions, he spent a lot of time signing autographs and posing for pictures.  When it was my turn, I asked him to provide me with some inspiration for my upcoming training in hopes of completing the Florida Ironman next year.  Check it out (special thanks to Wedgie for taking the photos)!

Asking Macca for some inspiration

This will be hung where I can see it every day

Me and Macca

We saw Macca again on Sunday -- cheering him on in the transition area as he killed the competition in the triathlon.

Who's Crying Now?

Unbeknownst to Jon Cryer*, he and my Disney Tri Team buddy, favorite Ironman and all around inspiration, Wedgie, have been immersed in rivalry for years. Well, today that may have ended -- we are still awaiting the final race results from the annual Nautica Malibu Triathlon**. However, even if Jon bested Wedgie this year, Wedgie still wins. Wedgie's an Ironman and has more fans than Jon Cryer! 

I like Jon Cryer, but...

...my heart belongs to Wedgie

*Jon Cryer is a really nice guy

**Race report coming soon!